All you'll ever need to know about Orvo.

Yeah, not really. If that was true, this guide would be for naught.
Okay. Welcome to Orvo. This is where you are:


It's in Utah. In the USA. Google Map it.
Except...don't. Google will take you to some place in Belgium. That's not Orvo.


<--THAT is Orvo. The uninformed refer to it as either "Provo" or "Orem". Wrong. Fail. Bad. The Orvites are an ancient and proud race. Inhabiting the region between the harsh Upper Utah and the savage Lower Utah, these people are unlike any other. A strange and intriguing culture has evolved here, complete with its own unique diet and vernacular. A stranger to these lands may be surprised/confused/terrified by these aspects of Orvish culture. Be not afraid, newcomer! We are here to guide you through the wilderness of Orvo and its many peculiarities. With the machete of local wisdom, we shall hack our way through the thickets of ignorance! With our dual pistols of understanding, we shall gun down the cheap thug of culture shock! And so, our journey begins.